The Traditional Year-End Top 10

It is traditional at the start of the year to list your ‘Top 10’ albums/movies/whatever of the preceding year.  I’m just as lazy as the next music hack, so here’s my list.  But in a slight twist, I’m going to list the top 10 albums I wish I’d never bought.  To be fair, several of these weren’t released in 2005, but that’s when I bought them, so it still counts.  Actually, a couple of these weren’t even bought in 2005, but it still burns my ass that they are taking up space on my ipod, so I thought I’d include them anyway…

1. Dashboard Confessional – A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar

I hadn’t heard anything by Dashboard Confessional, but they were often mentioned in the same breath as Bright Eyes and Death Cab For Cutie (both of whom I admire) so I thought it was a safe bet. It wasn’t – Dashboard Confessional are terrible! Youthful emo of the worst possible kind. I’m embarrassed to have it in my collection.

2. Lightning Seeds – Dizzy Heights

Jollification was wonderful – a very up album with great songs, and Ian Broudie had enough credibility to stay on the right side of Pop. This was their previous album, and is pure disposable lightweight crap. It serves only to emphasize how far the Lightning Seeds had come in only one album.

3. South – With The Tides

South’s debut, From Here On In, was produced by James Lavelle, and had groove and swagger. It is one of my all-time favourite albums, but their follow-up, With The Tides, is over-produced, smooth, and distinctly lacking in balls.

4. Pearl Jam – Rearview Mirror

I bought this on the basis of Yellow Leadbetter, which is outstanding. Most of the rest is just over-rated rubbish devoid of real tunes. It’s a double album, but they could have released an EP with the 4 decent tracks on it and saved me $15.

5. Bright Eyes – A Collection of Songs Recorded 1995-1997

Much as I hate to put down the normally irreproachable Bright Eyes, this collection of early demos should never have been released – it only sullies his reputation. There is nothing redeeming here at all.

6. Tom Waits – The Black Rider

It’s hard to believe that someone capable of the simplistic beauty of Closing Time can mutate into a braying donkey pounding a trashcan with a monkey-wrench, but here’s the proof. It would be several albums later before Tom Waits thankfully crawled out of his own caricature.

7. Babyshambles – Down In Albion

This is what you get when you give a genuinely talented songwriter too much drugs and not enough supervision in the studio.

8. Flaming Lips – The Soft Parade

I first discovered The Flaming Lips with Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots, which I love. The Soft Parade is supposed to be their finest hour, but it is pure, unlistenable soft-rock claptrap.

9. Eels – Blinking Lights and Other Revelations

Mr E. Is a fine songwriter with a penchant for self-deprecation and introspection. We all knew he had issues to air, and it worked on Souljacker, but this double-album is just so damn depressing I can’t listen to it.

10. Sparta – Wiretap Scars

I discovered At The Drive In’s astounding Relationship of Command (still one of my Top 10 albums) after ATDI had already called it a day. When I heard the split had spawned two new bands, I was hopeful. The Mars Volta were worthy. Sparta were not, and Wiretap Scars is just shouty emo.

I’d like to think that I’d learn from my mistakes, but I doubt if I will. So here’s to another 10 turkeys in 2006!

One response to “The Traditional Year-End Top 10”

  1. Brent Avatar
    Brent

    Yo Bro!
    just discovered yr website & I’ve read all the articles & hugely entertaining they are as well. Must disagree with yr thing about the Lightning Seeds album in this article tho’. Perfect pop songs with a witty/knowing/somewhat self depracating twist & some fine melodies to boot for my money.
    Keep up the good work. B.

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