As Training Lead, one of my responsibilities is to provide User Procedures for the system we’re implementing. Because users have a nasty habit of taking my official global User Procedures and changing them to match what they want to do, I publish them in Adobe PDF format. And because I generate all of the User Procedures out of OnDemand, I just get OnDemand to publish directly to PDF, which it will happily do if you have the full version of Adobe Suite installed.
In order to meet licensing requirements, here at my current client if you need a piece of software you need to submit a request, get the relevant level of approval, and then install the software from the on-line software repository (which you can only do once permission has been granted, and you have been added to the relevant access group for the folder containing the installation files for the specific piece of software you need). Sounds convoluted, I know, but this is Control Central…
Six months ago, the company announced that in a bid to cut costs, they were phasing out Adobe Acrobat Suite – which most people only used for creating PDFs – in favor of another (and I assume much cheaper) application called PDFCreator. If a user still needed Acrobat, they needed to tell the Help-Desk so that they could keep it. Because OnDemand doesn’t play nice with PDFCreator, I still needed Acrobat, so duly replied as such to the Help-Desk, and forgot about it.
A few weeks ago, Acrobat stopped working. Specifically, OnDemand told me that I didn’t have it installed, which was annoying as I could start it up just fine. Figuring that I was probably missing a .DLL or two thought I’d just re-install it. So I went to the software repository and tried to re-install, only to be told that the Administrator had disabled installation of this software. Brilliant. This meant that I’d have to open a support ticket with the Help-Desk which, based on prior dealings with the Help-Desk, I knew would turn into a nightmare.
I duly opened a ticket (via email), stating that my copy of Adobe Acrobat has stopped working and I couldn’t reinstall it. The Help-Desk replied stating that I’d need to reinstall it. I repeated my statement that I couldn’t install it. They responded that I didn’t have permission, and would need to resubmit a request. I politely demurred, and pointed out that I did indeed have permission, from my original installation, and forwarded to them the ticket number of that original request, which had the full approval history attached to it. Check and mate. I felt very smug. A week went by, and then I received a reply stating that they’d need the original ticket number! Groan.
The Help-Desk seemed to admit defeat, and agreed to let me reinstall the software. They seemed to admit defeat, but as I quickly learnt, they were just toying with me. They announced that Adobe Acrobat Suite Version 7 (the version I had) was no longer available, Version 8 was the new standard, and that this wasn’t available for installation from the online software repository, so they’d have to send an ‘Onsite Technician’ round to my office to install it for me. Sigh. I pointed out that that would be problematic as I am currently onsite at the warehouse (some hour and a half drive from my ‘base office’ – which, incidentally, I’ve not sat in since April…) and working the night shift (support coverage from 6pm to 6am – nice!). “Well, when are you back at your own office”? November. I leave for Europe next week, and I need this software now. “Is it possible you can call by the office?” So I arranged to call in, on my day off, on my way home, after working through the night a couple of days later. So much for R&R…
I got into the office, logged on, and pinged the Help-Desk to tell them that I was here whenever they wanted to call round. They replied asking me to start up NetMeeting (a crappy ‘online conferencing’ tool – we can only use the screensharing option; no voice or video), which I thought was odd. They then proceeded to try to install the software remotely! So why the hell was I told to come into my office? We could have done this from the warehouse! And me on my day off! FFS.
I say tried to install, as they made a complete pigs ear of it. Bearing in mind this was conducted purely over screensharing and IM, I sat there as the ‘Technician’ took remote control of my screen and clicked around like it was the first time they had ever used Windows XP (I know, we’re so back-level here). It took her (I assume a her – it had a female name, but as I didn’t get to talk to them, it could have been anything – or anywhere; I’m suspecting a very strong Indian accent…) five minutes to find my Start bar (which I set to autohide so it doesn’t interfere with my OnDemand recordings), and then she spent a full 20 minutes trying to adjust my screen resolution and position, finally changing it to display on my secondary monitor and not the laptop screen, after I’d deliberately disabled the extended desktop to make it easier for them. I finally gave up and IM’d “Look, I don’t want to be rude, but do you even know what you’re doing?? You’re supposed to be installing Acrobat Suite!” She replied saying that she couldn’t see my entire desktop. I’m not sure why not, or why she even needed to, but I set the resolution to 800×600 (so god knows what she was using on the other end – probably her iPhone…) and we were back in business.
I then sat back as she tried to install Acrobat Version 7. When this failed, I politely pointed out that Version 7 was discontinued and she needed to install Version 8. She replied “Really??”, so I pulled up the note I’d received from the Help-Desk – her Help-Desk – stating as much. She then started closing all of my open applications – including a chat session I was on with a user I was trying to help with a support issue – so that pissed me off (some more). Fume. I took control back and asked her what she was doing. She said she needed to reboot my PC to ‘complete the installation’ – even though we hadn’t actually started it yet! I asked her what she expected me to do once it had rebooted, as we would lose our only two methods of communication (NetMeeting and IM) during the reboot. “Oh, you’d better start up NetMeeting again, I guess…”.
So we rebooted, I started up NetMeeting again, and (reluctantly) gave her control again. And she then proceeded to try to install Acrobat Version 7 again!!! I responded, a little more tersely this time, that Version 7 had been discontinued, and she needed to install version 8. I was anticipating a response of “Really??”, but to be honest that would have been a better answer. Help-Desk woman then told me that the license key I had been aassigned (and forwarded to her) was for Acrobat 7, and not Acrobat 8! What?? Whaaat?? Am I the only one here without his head up his ass?? So to summarize, the Help-Desk, who specifically told me that Version 7 had been discontinued, sent me a license key for this discontinued software, knowing full well that I couldn’t use it!
I pointed this out to the Help-Desk woman in no uncertain terms (this was after an hour of dicking around, and I’m a little short on patience when I’m sleep-deprived). “Well, your approval was for Acrobat 7. If you want Acrobat 8, you’ll have to submit another request and get approval for it”. !!! Explode. I admitted defeat, terminated our call, and went home. Beaten again by the sheer idiocy and incompetence of our in-house Help-Desk.
This is why they do this kind of thing remotely, via NetMeeting. Because if they’d been there in person, there’s a very good chance I would have bludgeoned the ‘Technician’ with my worthless lump of a five-year-old company laptop. I assume that the ‘Help’ in Help-Desk is supposed to be ironic…
07 September 2010
I’m now in the Netherlands. The U.S. Helpdesk kindly routed my ticket to the local Dutch Helpdesk, who called me to say that they could send someone round to install Acrobat version 6 for me. A downgrade! I politely declined, and asked them to re-route my ticket back to the U.S. Helpdesk with a note that I would contact them when I get back to the U.S. (in mid-October).
16 September 2010
Still in the Netherlands. I get an IM from the U.S. Helpdesk wanting to know if I was available, so they could send someone round to install Acrobat for me. I said “Sure, I’m in Pernis. I’ll expect them in about 10 hours then.” “Oh, OK, then I’ll route your ticket to the local Dutch Helpdesk. They’ll send someone round.” !? Sometimes I think they’re doing this just to fuck with me…
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